I fully expected to have to go running in the pouring rain today, but the weather gods seem to approve of my exercise experiment and surprised me with scorching sunshine. Huzzah! I was going to do a three-mile run, but since the weather was so good I brought Wellie along and did a five-miler with walking breaks. I have a couple of different loops mapped out around my neighborhood, and this is my favorite. It hits four different urban trail systems, so I only have to endure a measly two miles of asphalt.

I came home feeling fantastic (Wellie was pretty happy too), but then I suddenly crashed with a pounding headache. Maybe it was too strenuous for my body after being couch-bound for so long? Hopefully it’s nothing a little caffeine, a shower and a wee nap can’t fix.

Running songs of the day: Jimi Hendrix – Fire and Florence + The Machine – Cosmic Love (her whole album is perfect for running…but I might be biased since it takes me right back to the beaches of Kaua’i…)

It might not seem like it given the amount of trip reports I’ve posted lately (at least I’ve been blogging!), but I am having serious problems motivating myself to go on hikes. Or runs. Or social events. Or just getting out of bed. I’m feeling incredibly lethargic, unhealthy and down in the dumps. Depression isn’t anything new to me, and I’ve come to realize that it’s probably something I am going to struggle with for the rest of my life, but I really want to be able to manage it at a level where I can take care of myself and my loved ones.

For me, depression comes and goes in waves. This happens to be one of the really low points, and I can’t really see the surf going up anytime soon. I’ve been looking back over the last couple of years to try to make sense of the ebb and flow of it all, and it seems to really be connected to physical activity. I can honestly say that hiking changed (and quite possibly saved) my life.

I just posted some photos of our recent trip to the Space Needle on Flickr, and I was struck by the difference in my appearance now and the last time we went. It was in the spring of 2007, one of the most difficult periods of my life. I remember how uncomfortable I felt in my body and in my life. I had migraines almost every day. I would always stay home while JK went out with our friends. I had no energy. I was deeply unhappy. Apart from the weight loss (it’s not even about the weight loss), I can see how much more confident, content and relaxed I am now. Hiking gave me exercise, sunshine, endorphins, fresh air, a sense of accomplishment, confidence in learning new skills, and a sense of purpose. So I’ve come a long way, but not far enough.

The last time I felt really energetic, confident and carefree over an extended period of time was in late May and June…which also just happens to coincide with a period where I was doing lots of hiking and, more importantly, lots of running on the non-hiking days. I really think this is key – hiking once or twice a week isn’t enough; I have to keep the endorphins going throughout the week.

For the month of September, I will be doing a little (well, for me it’s pretty big) experiment: I will exercise every single day to see how it affects my mental health. I’m trying to disregard the vague notion I have that this whole experiment is embarrassing to talk about, so I’ll be posting updates on the blog. I’ll try to keep the whining at a minimum, but considering the fact that I had to argue with myself for over an hour this morning to get out of bed, there’s bound to be some bitching and moaning when I try to force my carcass off the couch to go running in the rain.

So there you have it. 30 days of exercise, strenuous enough to get that magical rush of endorphins. There are so many changes I want to make in my life, but I think this first little step is the key to unlocking the rest of them. One foot in front of the other.

The first time I laid eyes on a pair of Vibram Five Fingers, I’ll admit there was a whole lot of pointing, chuckling and “monkey feet” comments involved. Then JK gave me the book Born to Run by Christopher McDougall for Christmas, and I couldn’t put it down. I immediately ordered a pair of VFFs, and I haven’t looked back since.

I’ve always wanted to love running, but actually hated it. Blubber and panting aside, I could never even run a mile without shin pain, knee pain, ankle pain, lower back pain, or, since I really messed them up playing handball when I was growing up, rolling my ankles. With the Five Fingers, I can run pain-free (except for the exploding heart and burning lungs, of course); it’s basically like running barefoot, the way evolution intended.

It seems counterintuitive when you’ve been conditioned to think that the more padding, the better, but the second I tried them on, I was in heaven. I don’t want to wear any other kind of shoe; I even bought a second pair in black to wear when I’m not exercising. I haz munkeh feetz and I’m proud of it!

My favorite part is being able to run without the threat of twisting my ankle – this highly scientific illustration should tell you all you need to know:

The only problem, which should be pretty obvious, is that the thin soles don’t really work for real hiking. I love using them for trail running and smooth hiking trails like Rattlesnake or the Issaquah Alps, but last week we tried the VFFs on our TNAB Lite hike to Snow Lake. The hike itself is very easy, but I forgot how rocky the trail was. I felt like I spent way too much time and energy staring at my feet to make sure I didn’t step on any of the really evil, jagged rocks and not enough time enjoying the hike. JK did much better than I did, so maybe I just lack confidence (as usual) in my steps.

Now I’m on a mission to find some sort of trail running shoe that’s minimalistic enough (but with a little more protection than the VFFs) that I can wear it hiking without twisting my ankle.

…not that there’s ever a good time to get injured. Still, it would be nice to be able to enjoy this unseasonably amazing weather after weeks of grey skies and drizzle. Even the cherry blossoms are out! I would have killed to be able to go for a run today.

Instead I am stuck on the couch playing Farmville and watching NBC’s craptastic “coverage” of the Olympics (you would think that living a hop and a skip from Vancouver would ensure the ability to watch the games live, but noooo).

Anyhoo, the top of my foot started hurting last weekend while I was snowshoeing, but I didn’t really think much about it until I went out for a run the next day. It got worse and worse with each step, stabbing pain every time I pushed off with the balls of my foot (which, as I learned afterwards, I shouldn’t be doing when I’m running anyway). Apparently I sprained something in the metatarsal region of my left foot and I’m just going to have to ice and rest (and curse the gods and everyone around me) until it gets better.

Of course (since I am both stubborn and, let’s be honest, rather lacking in the brainal department), I went hiking this weekend. In my defense, a friend from Norway was in town and we started planning this trip in October. It was just a short hike up to High Hut to spend the night, an equally short hike back to the car the next day, and then a very short snowshoeing excursion to Paradise so the boys could go skiing and snowboarding.

Sadly, the spectacular views we had been hoping for were replaced with rain, clouds, fog, blizzards and general shittiness – nothing like our last trip to High Hut. Still, it was better than staying home and playing Farmville…even though it probably prolonged my recovery time. Damnit.

Please excuse the whining nature of this post; I am currently deficient in endorphins, vitamin D and serotonin (and have spent an inordinate amount of time harvesting virtual asparagus), and I am clearly feeling the effects.

Of course the second I started bragging about how happy I was, the whole Bobby thing happened and I was knocked down a few pegs. I spent Halloween feeling pretty down and worried about him, so I had a hard time enjoying the festivities – even though we carved our first pumpkins (ever! Halloween didn’t exist in Norway when we were growing up) and baked these magnificent finger cookies (eeew):

Bobby is doing better, but is still very lethargic and generally not himself – but he’s still enough of a gentleman to tell me to say thank you for all the well wishes!

Anyway, it was becoming increasingly clear that I needed some outdoor time, especially when the weather on Sunday defied the forecast and provided both sun and blue skies. We couldn’t leave poor Bobs alone at home all day and go for a real hike, so we drove to Tiger Mountain for a quick trail run with Wellie.

Once again we proved that the combination of sun/fresh air/endorphins is absolutely magical and beats any sort of drug, and once again I proved that I am in absolutely horrendous shape. Still, I loved it so much that we went running on Monday too, in the Redmond Watershed Preserve which is relatively close to our house. So much nicer than running on asphalt. Or a treadmill.

We didn’t want to carry our big, heavy lump of an SLR while running, so we decided to try our new compact camera, a Panasonic Lumix TS1 (yes it really is that orange).

I’ve been wanting a compact camera so I can take more photos when we’re out with friends and I don’t feel like bringing a suitcase-sized purse for my camera, so we figured we should go for a waterproof (good for photos of Wellie swimming) and shockproof (good for downhill skiing where we will inevitably take quite a few splendid spills) version. I’m underwhelmed by the results so far, but I guess I should at least attempt to read the manual and not base my judgment solely on photos from a dark forest before I talk smack about the camera. Either way I have to stop expecting SLR-type results from the tiny little thing.